Instead of fame — peace
Never mind, Annie Liebovitz — instead, this selfie I took on my back deck, soaking up the September sun
When I was growing up my dream was to be on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine - complete with an in-depth profile & photo shoot by none other than Annie Liebovitz (of course).
I wanted to be FAMOUS, and in retrospect, it was because I thought being famous was the best way to "count." To have my life matter. The alternative? Being some anonymous schmuck. No thank you. What was the point of that?
Oh, baby girl.
Today, I hold a very different worldview (thank god), and very different aspirations. Not only am I not interested in being famous, but the idea of fame repels me — I see it as a grotesque circus. Let me live in the woods & do my work and feel peace, please.
Still, I remember so vividly the feeling that churned inside me for so many years... just dying to take the 15 "likes" on a blog post & turn it into an adoring subscriber base of 100, 1,000... 10,000....100,000! I wrote to be seen, yes, & also to help other people feel less alone. People told me how much my writing meant to them — so it wasn't fair that I wasn't reaching more people. It wasn't right. Why wouldn't someone "discover" me, already? Why wouldn't someone hold me up to the spotlight and say, "Listen to her"?
When my first book came out, I was in my 30s, & I hoped it would lead to bigger opportunities, bigger audiences. Then I raised a child and lived a whole lot of life. When my second book book came out, I was just shy of 50, and the feeling I had was very different — not, "Oh, please, let this be a bestseller," but... relief.
"Oh, good — I finally did it."
I finally told that story, the one that had been inside of me for so long, waiting to be born.
The same year — last year, in fact — I launched the Mighty Forces podcast, another itch I'd been wanting to scratch, in some way, for years, after being voted "Most Likely To Host a Talk Show" back in high school ;). It was a joy ride to create a season's worth of episodes, and then, I was done. (For now - I may always decide to create a second season!) Again, the feeling was relief — not striving. I genuinely didn't care if a million people listened. I cared that I made the show with integrity & that I listened to the impulse inside of me that needed to create it.
The more we make the thing that's inside of us, asking to be made, the more peace we feel.
Let me say that again: The more we make the thing that's inside of us, asking to be made, the more peace we feel.
You deserve peace.
Maya Angelou famously said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you." Maybe, for you, that story wants to be a book, a film, a podcast, a screwball art project. Maybe it wants to be a way of doing business in your sector that only you, with your particular lifetime of experiences, could ever bring into being.
My fall cohort is here to help you give birth to whatever it is, and to feel peace. We start Oct. 6. It would be my honor to be your doula. Claim your spot.
