What stories are you telling yourself?
I want to invite you to feed yourself some different stories, on purpose.
Corporate media spends billions of dollars to promote a very cynical narrative about the world, with companies stuck in a perpetual cycle of fighting each other for clicks and scoops and eyeballs. The decision-makers behind our popular news sources seem certain that leading with good news would mean ceding their place in the market.
It can be easy to just brace ourselves for more bad news. But that’s not the only or best way to move through the world.
As a result, if we rely on popular media to shape our understanding of the world, we might easily conclude that all there is to know about people is that we’re selfish at best, corrupt and violent at worst.
Of course, there are plenty of facts to back up the story that humans selfish, corrupt, and violent. We do a lot of really shitty things.
And yet, just because it’s the story the New York Times or CNN is telling (to name just two examples - my intention isn’t to pick on them in particular, there are plenty of guilty parties), doesn’t mean it’s the only story.
Yes, humans do a lot of shitty things…and, we do a lot of really amazing things.
And, there is beauty all around us, and in us.
It’s up to us to look for these counterpoints — examples of human generosity and creativity that are just as real, and just as true, as the headlines that dominate our consciousness.
The first step to being the change you wish to see (hat tip Ghandi) is to notice good things on purpose.
During the pandemic I found a tip somewhere online: Create a Note in the notes app on your phone, and title it, “Good things are always happening to me.” Look for evidence every day, and add it to the list: A sweet little toddler smiled at me at the coffee shop; this book I’m reading is so good; oh my god the fall air is so delicious. Etc.
I’ve morphed my note over time and now my list is more expansive: “Good things are always happening” —period. Not just to me, but in the world.
I was recommending this practice to a client earlier today, and realized, it was worth recommending to all of you, as well.
The point here isn’t to hide from the true suffering that’s happening, it’s to hold that more than one thing can be true at once. To notice and honor and celebrate the most shining examples of the human spirit is not to negate examples of our darkest places, but instead to paint a picture where there are both shadows and light.
Which feels like a message worth sharing on the eve of the Fall Equinox, as we head into the part of the year where the sun sets earlier and there is more of a felt experience of darkness all around.
Yes, it may start getting dark at 4:30pm. And, there are still sources of light. We just need to look for them and cultivate them, on purpose.
Let me share a few sources of light in my world:
Creative Mornings — I recently discovered there’s a chapter here in the Hudson Valley (I used to attend gatherings in NYC) and it did my spirit so much good to attend a meeting last week. The inspiration I took with me after soaking up this celebration of creativity is a source of light I’m still feeling several days later.
Taskmaster — I mentioned this delightful (get it: de-LIGHT-ful??) British panel show in passing in a recent issue of this newsletter, but want to give it a more formal shout-out. It is such a dependable source of joy and whimsy to watch comedians try to complete an eclectic array of bizarre tasks while an imperious fellow comedian, Greg Davies, judges their performance.
How to Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days by Kari Leibowitz, PhD — ok, this one’s a cheat, I haven’t actually read it yet, but it looks like a tremendous source of light for the months ahead.
I wish you light to balance the darkness, and the capacity to hold both. If you need help navigating these times, remember, you don’t have to do it alone.
You are a mighty force - and together, we are even mightier,
Amanda
P.S. Quick reminder that my fall cohort, designed to help you do the damn thing already, starts Tuesday, October 6. Questions? Book a virtual coffee date and let’s chat.
